Removing scenes from your novel is tough. I\u2019m currently editing the second draft of my first novel Softening<\/a>. I want to remove ten percent<\/a> of the first draft to sharpen the narrative, and because Stephen King told me to<\/a>. I\u2019m not going to get there by removing adverbs, or tinkering at the sentence level – entire scenes will have to go. But which ones? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s a worked example of one of my favourite series of scenes, that has come under threat in the second draft edit, and the decision process on whether to remove them or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n John and Julie are dog obsessed. They love their toy poodle Reggie. He is their world, and is the glue that sticks their relationship together. Half way through the story, Reggie gets attacked by another dog, and by the end of the second act, he\u2019s died of his injuries. Reggie is gone, and all the characters are sad, and hopefully the reader is sad too. Everyone loves animals, so everyone should be very upset when I kill Reggie. Right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not convinced. When I was outlining, the tragic demise of Reggie was a central plank of the book. All the characters would rally round and bond with each other. They would find something in themselves that was precious, and they would see that same preciousness in their classmates. It would be incredibly moving. But by the end of the first draft it felt a lot more peripheral. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are extracts from two scenes in the life and death of Reggie the dog – to give you a flavour at what\u2019s at stake. In total there are three dedicated scenes revolving around the doggy tragedy and a few others have substantials sections where the characters reflect on the life and times of Reggie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve got some very sad news for you today\u201d said Vanessa to the assembled and now seated class. \u201cJohn and Julie won\u2019t be able to join us today. I\u2019m afraid their lovely dog Reggie is not very well and they\u2019ve had to call the emergency vet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perry and Rob looked at each other. \u201cHas Reggie stubbed his paw paw?\u201d whispered Perry. Rob smiled. It was a funny joke about a pampered pet. \u201dOr perhaps he\u2019s had bad dream?\u201d Rob and Perry looked at each other, amusement in their eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry to tell you all that it looks serious. Reggie was attacked by a neighbour\u2019s dog and has received some very bad injuries\u201d said Vanessa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Rob looked away and stared at the floor in front of him. Perry felt terrible. She was making cruel jokes about John and Julie while they were nursing their beloved pet.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n There was an oddly sombre atmosphere to the class this Saturday, but it was unclear what the cause of it was. Dolores looked the same as she ever did, exhausted, and Sophie had unexpectedly returned to the class, looking dismissive and bored; an improvement on her general outlook from last week. Vanessa sat with her hands loosely in her lap, and gazed distractedly over their heads. Clayton leant towards her slightly, making up for the attention that Vanessa was lacking. They sat in silence for longer than usual, the sadness in the air oppressing Perry, causing her to reflect on her own problems and worry away at them. Vanessa finally broke the silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m afraid I\u2019ve got some very very sad news for you,\u201d said Vanessa., Clayton bowed his head as she spoke. \u201cOur good friends, John and Julie, have lost their very special and beloved pet, Reggie. I\u2019m sorry, Reggie has passed away.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n I really like scene one, but I’m less happy with all the subsequent ones. The central dilemma is that the lifecycle of Reggie scenes seem superfluous. If they are omitted, then the story continues to flow, and nothing from the narrative is lost. If scenes are optional from a narrative perspective, then they need to add something special, such as being part of a clever interweaving subplot or wonderful character flavour. The pressure is on Reggie to prove he is bringing something amazing to the party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is a short list of cast iron valid reasons to keep a scene. If it serves one of these purposes then it stays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is a much longer list of inessential reasons that don\u2019t justify keeping a scene<\/p>\n\n\n\n You obviously can keep a scene if it only serves of the inessential reasons, but know that it\u2019s a luxury, so if you are keeping that scene then it really needs to earn it\u2019s keep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Considering Reggie\u2019s death, the reasons to keep it are generally about adding colour and interest <\/p>\n\n\n\n But I have my doubts whether it earns its keep. The reasons to remove it are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Reggie\u2019s death is edited out of the second draft – the scenes are gone and he is reprieved. Reggie is still there but in a much more minor role, as are his doggy mummy and daddy, John and Julie. Reggie survives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was the emotional manipulation that I felt most unhappy with. I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a legitimate move to murder pets (or people) just to make the reader a bit sad. It feels unfair and dishonest somehow – I can\u2019t quite put my finger on it, but there was something about the death scenes that was almost distasteful. I\u2019m happier now that Reggie is alive. Long live Reggie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Removing scenes from your novel is tough. I\u2019m currently editing the second draft of my first novel Softening. I want to remove ten percent of the first draft to sharpen the narrative, and because Stephen King told me to. I\u2019m not going to get there by removing adverbs, or tinkering at the sentence level – […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":257,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ocean_post_layout":"","ocean_both_sidebars_style":"","ocean_both_sidebars_content_width":0,"ocean_both_sidebars_sidebars_width":0,"ocean_sidebar":"","ocean_second_sidebar":"","ocean_disable_margins":"enable","ocean_add_body_class":"","ocean_shortcode_before_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_after_top_bar":"","ocean_shortcode_before_header":"","ocean_shortcode_after_header":"","ocean_has_shortcode":"","ocean_shortcode_after_title":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_widgets":"","ocean_shortcode_before_footer_bottom":"","ocean_shortcode_after_footer_bottom":"","ocean_display_top_bar":"default","ocean_display_header":"default","ocean_header_style":"","ocean_center_header_left_menu":"","ocean_custom_header_template":"","ocean_custom_logo":0,"ocean_custom_retina_logo":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_width":0,"ocean_custom_logo_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_tablet_max_height":0,"ocean_custom_logo_mobile_max_height":0,"ocean_header_custom_menu":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_family":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_subset":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_size":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_font_size_unit":"px","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_font_weight_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_tablet":"","ocean_menu_typo_transform_mobile":"","ocean_menu_typo_line_height":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_line_height_unit":"","ocean_menu_typo_spacing":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_tablet":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_mobile":0,"ocean_menu_typo_spacing_unit":"","ocean_menu_link_color":"","ocean_menu_link_color_hover":"","ocean_menu_link_color_active":"","ocean_menu_link_background":"","ocean_menu_link_hover_background":"","ocean_menu_link_active_background":"","ocean_menu_social_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_bg":"","ocean_menu_social_links_color":"","ocean_menu_social_hover_links_color":"","ocean_disable_title":"default","ocean_disable_heading":"default","ocean_post_title":"","ocean_post_subheading":"","ocean_post_title_style":"","ocean_post_title_background_color":"","ocean_post_title_background":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_image_position":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_attachment":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_repeat":"","ocean_post_title_bg_image_size":"","ocean_post_title_height":0,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay":0.5,"ocean_post_title_bg_overlay_color":"","ocean_disable_breadcrumbs":"default","ocean_breadcrumbs_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_separator_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_color":"","ocean_breadcrumbs_links_hover_color":"","ocean_display_footer_widgets":"default","ocean_display_footer_bottom":"default","ocean_custom_footer_template":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"ocean_post_oembed":"","ocean_post_self_hosted_media":"","ocean_post_video_embed":"","ocean_link_format":"","ocean_link_format_target":"self","ocean_quote_format":"","ocean_quote_format_link":"post","ocean_gallery_link_images":"on","ocean_gallery_id":[],"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-writing","entry","has-media"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/01\/Dog-waiting-e1704213420505.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=251"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":263,"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions\/263"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timothypatrickbrown.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\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Scene 1: Reggie is injured<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
Scene 2: Reggie is dead<\/h2>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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The Dilemma<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n
Reasons to Keep a Scene<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
Should Reggie\u2019s Death Stay Or Should It Go?<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n
\n
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The Verdict<\/h1>\n\n\n\n