I\u2019ve had a massive bust up with the neighbours. They really loathe me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Last month, when reversing my car out of a tight spot, I ran over the gardener\u2019s hedge trimmer. I tried to reverse it out of the same tight spot two more times, and hit the cleaner\u2019s car and knocked down my mailbox. I knew I couldn\u2019t get it out of that spot after the first attempt, but I tried twice more anyway, and tripled the damage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I employ the cleaner and the gardener because I can\u2019t bear to do routine jobs. The boredom is physically painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yesterday, I impulse bought the Dungeons and Dragons 5e core rules gift set. It cost $170. I don\u2019t play Dungeons and Dragons. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
At work, I run a team of over a dozen software engineers, plus I also develop the software myself. There are five releases happening before Christmas, plus several more in January and a major infrastructure migration happening at the same time. I dart round from project to project, asking the stupid questions that I think need to be asked; questions that everyone else is too embarrassed, or too sensible, to ask themselves<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In my spare time, I’ve written the first draft of Softening. It took three months and weighs in at 95,000 words. In the meantime, I’ve abandoned a professional exam I shoud have been taking, the garden looks like a jungle and the swimming pool has gone green.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Welcome to my ADHD<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the book Your Brain Is Not Broken<\/a>, Tamara Rosier asks us to consider \u2018What is your ADHD like?\u2019 Tamara\u2019s ADHD is like a naughty elf, the sort of mischievous creature that sneaks in at night and rearranges all your belongings, hides the important documents and changes the dates on the calendar, so you miss all your appointments. Cheeky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s not how I experience my ADHD. Mine is a raging lightning storm. It\u2019s dark and threatening, but glorious and exhilarating. It\u2019s hugely energetic but can easily veer out of control. It\u2019s truly awe inspiring and wonderful, but has the capacity for destruction, and is dangerous when it\u2019s too near. The eye of the storm is quiet and peaceful, but that can change in a heart beat, then storm is back, and it\u2019s furious. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are peaceful days when the storm is on the horizon, and I can see the lightning at a safe distance. It\u2019s mild and kind of interesting. Then there are days when the storm is overhead, and it\u2019s all flash and thunder. Those days can be exciting and a lot of things happen; the sort of days that memories (and memoirs) are made of. Unfortunately, they can also be utterly destructive; relationships are detonated, and harsh words rain down from the dark clouds. Then the peaceful days return, and the job is to repair the damage. Sometimes it can\u2019t repaired – it has to stay broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I saw my neighbour again today. I went round to bring him a bag of freshly picked vegetables from my garden. A peace offering. I took the dog with me for emotional support. My neighbour still looked pretty angry. He was in the wrong, but I went too far. He said I needed psychological help. That was insulting but accurate – I do see a psychiatrist. We agreed to talk again in the new year. So that’s booked in; another round of damage repair, now that the ADHD storm has passed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Photo by Jeremy Thomas<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I\u2019ve had a massive bust up with the neighbours. They really loathe me. Last month, when reversing my car out of a tight spot, I ran over the gardener\u2019s hedge trimmer. I tried to reverse it out of the same tight spot two more times, and hit the cleaner\u2019s car and knocked down my mailbox. 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