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Removing scenes from your novel is tough. I’m currently editing the second draft of my first novel Softening. I want to remove ten percent of the first draft to sharpen the narrative, and because Stephen King told me to. I’m not going to get there by removing adverbs, or tinkering at the sentence level – entire scenes will have to go. But which ones? 

Here’s a worked example of one of my favourite series of scenes, that has come under threat in the second draft edit, and the decision process on whether to remove them or not.

Scenes

John and Julie are dog obsessed. They love their toy poodle Reggie. He is their world, and is the glue that sticks their relationship together. Half way through the story, Reggie gets attacked by another dog, and by the end of the second act, he’s died of his injuries. Reggie is gone, and all the characters are sad, and hopefully the reader is sad too. Everyone loves animals, so everyone should be very upset when I kill Reggie. Right?

I’m not convinced. When I was outlining, the tragic demise of Reggie was a central plank of the book. All the characters would rally round and bond with each other. They would find something in themselves that was precious, and they would see that same preciousness in their classmates. It would be incredibly moving. But by the end of the first draft it felt a lot more peripheral. 

Here are extracts from two scenes in the life and death of Reggie the dog – to give you a flavour at what’s at stake. In total there are three dedicated scenes revolving around the doggy tragedy and a few others have substantials sections where the characters reflect on the life and times of Reggie.

Scene 1: Reggie is injured

There was an oddly sombre atmosphere to the class this Saturday, but it was unclear what the cause of it was. Dolores looked the same as she ever did, exhausted, and Sophie had unexpectedly returned to the class, looking dismissive and bored; an improvement on her general outlook from last week. Vanessa sat with her hands loosely in her lap, and gazed distractedly over their heads. Clayton leant towards her slightly, making up for the attention that Vanessa was lacking. They sat in silence for longer than usual, the sadness in the air oppressing Perry, causing her to reflect on her own problems and worry away at them. Vanessa finally broke the silence.

“I’m afraid I’ve got some very very sad news for you,” said Vanessa., Clayton bowed his head as she spoke. “Our good friends, John and Julie, have lost their very special and beloved pet, Reggie. I’m sorry, Reggie has passed away.”

The Dilemma

I really like scene one, but I’m less happy with all the subsequent ones. The central dilemma is that the lifecycle of Reggie scenes seem superfluous. If they are omitted, then the story continues to flow, and nothing from the narrative is lost. If scenes are optional from a narrative perspective, then they need to add something special, such as being part of a clever interweaving subplot or wonderful character flavour. The pressure is on Reggie to prove he is bringing something amazing to the party.

Reasons to Keep a Scene

There is a short list of cast iron valid reasons to keep a scene. If it serves one of these purposes then it stays.

• Essential for the plot
• Essential for a subplot that you are keeping for good reason
• Essential for the character arc of a major character

There is a much longer list of inessential reasons that don’t justify keeping a scene

• Adds backstory
• Adds to the character arc of a minor character
• Adds colour or interest
• Beautifully written or incredibly insightful
• Wonderfully entertaining 
• Symbolism or another literary device

You obviously can keep a scene if it only serves of the inessential reasons, but know that it’s a luxury, so if you are keeping that scene then it really needs to earn it’s keep.

Should Reggie’s Death Stay Or Should It Go?

Considering Reggie’s death, the reasons to keep it are generally about adding colour and interest 

• Scene one gives the romantic leads (Perry and Rob) opportunity to collude, and build their relationship in a natural way
• Reggie’s death is a growth opportunity for Perry. In the first scene she is typically snarky, and she immediately regrets it when she learns the true situation. In subsequent scenes, she goes out of her way to make up for her initial response.
• If done well, then it should resonant emotionally with the reader.

But I have my doubts whether it earns its keep. The reasons to remove it are:

• The scenes are superfluous so could go and the narrative would still hold together.
• They feel like add-ons; they are clunky and awkward. Other than the first scene, I don’t think they are especially well written. That could improve with editing, but the poor writing means more work, and makes me much more likely to bin them.
• Killing a pet feels dishonest or manipulative somehow. I’m introducing a (doggy) character for the express purpose of executing it, to wring emotions out of readers – that doesn’t feel good.

The Verdict

Reggie’s death is edited out of the second draft – the scenes are gone and he is reprieved. Reggie is still there but in a much more minor role, as are his doggy mummy and daddy, John and Julie. Reggie survives.

It was the emotional manipulation that I felt most unhappy with. I don’t think it’s a legitimate move to murder pets (or people) just to make the reader a bit sad. It feels unfair and dishonest somehow – I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there was something about the death scenes that was almost distasteful. I’m happier now that Reggie is alive. Long live Reggie.