I’m currently doing a second draft edit for my first novel ‘Softening’. I’m finding the second draft harder work that the first. The process of my initial draft suited my temperament; lower the quality bar, blast out as much prose as possible, as quickly as possible, don’t go back and edit, then finish and self-congratulate. The second draft is more like being a real writer – a challenge.
Overall Aim
The purpose of the first draft was to get the story down in full, in whatever shape it emerges. The purpose of the second draft is to shape that story, remove the rubbish, and iron out the inconsistencies. At the end of the second draft, I aim to have the narrative nailed in, the structure settled, and each character following a sensible arc. I don’t want to be making large scale changes to the storyline before the novel goes out to beta readers – though significant changes could happen after the beta read, which is fine (it’s not fine, but I accept it).
The second draft is a tough one. I’m spending time with the scenes that don’t work, or correcting the narrative that is substandard. I’m facing the worst of it, the black slimy grout around the shining chrome taps of my first novel. I’ve found it helps to breaking down the draft into a series of tasks. It’s less dispiriting that way. So, here are 11 things to do during the second draft edit, with a further 6 things not to do, or be circumspect about.
Task 1: Remove The Boring
Any scenes or part of scenes that you skim over when reading your own novel have to go. If you can’t bear to read them, your potential readers certainly won’t. At a minimum, they need a substantial rewrite – and when I say rewrite, I don’t mean make the scenes twice as long, I mean trim them right down, and only do that if you are convinced they need to stay. Otherwise delete.
Example
Half the chapters in Softening start with a poetic description of a particular meditation, extending over several pages. It turns out that these sections are very boring, and grind the narrative to a halt. I loved writing them, and I hate reading them. I can’t quite bring myself to delete them, so I’ve trimmed them down to a paragraph maximum. They might have to go completely – I’m undecided about that.
Task 2: Remove the Preaching
If any elements are preachy, they need to go as well. If you a lecturing, harassing or patronising your readers, then snip it out.
Example
I love meditating, it’s a big part of my life, and I have a lot to say about it, so the characters in Softening have a lot to say about it too. But no-one wants to be lectured at, especially when reading a romantic comedy, and that’s what my characters are doing. If I wanted to write an instruction manual about meditation, I should have done that, but I haven’t. I’ve written a romantic comedy; light hearted observations are in, long polemics about the benefits of meditation are out.
Task 3: Remove Plot Inconsistencies
Perhaps you are better at this than me, but when I read the first draft there were plot inconsistencies you could drive a truck (with an extra truck strapped on the top) through. Time to correct them.
Examples
There were lots in my first draft. The most egregious examples were
- A character’s mother is dead at the beginning, then is very much alive at the end, and plays a significant role in the final chapters.
- A character has no children, then later reminisces about bringing up her children.
Task 4: Remove Character Inconsistencies
Character inconsistencies are more subtle than plot inconsistencies but also need to be resolved. Each major character should have an arc, but they shouldn’t mutate out of all recognition during the course of the book. People do have dramatic shifts, but not without reason. Your character journeys need to make sense.
Example
Esteban’s major distinguishing feature is that he doesn’t talk much. That doesn’t change, and Esteban doesn’t have much of an arc, but it triggers change in others. He’s quiet and taciturn, except at the beginning of the story, when he can’t shut up. He argues, debates, and defends his corner, then a few chapters later he hardly says anything, and is quiet for the rest of the story. A complete mistake and super weird, so one to resolve.
Task 5: Remove Minor Characters
A harder one, but take a look at all the minor characters, and make sure they are needed – and by minor I mean anyone except the protagonist and antagonist. Legitimate reasons for a minor character are
- The major characters react to them and change because of them.
- They are integral to a subplot and the subplot is integral to the book.
- The narrative requires their presence.
- They are brilliant: brilliantly funny, brilliantly weird, brilliantly profound, brilliantly brilliant.
If the characters don’t fit into one of those categories, then why are they there? And I’m not even sure about the final reason – if they are that brilliant, then write another book, and make them the protagonist.
Example
I’ve removed one minor character, Sandra the social worker of Esteban, and I have sent one pair of minor characters, John and Julie, into the background. John and Julie are a dog obsessed older couple. In my heart, they are brilliant, and I love them. But not brilliant enough to have scene after scene, wallowing in their exploits. They’ve had a significant snip.
Task 6: Remove Pointless Scenes
As your story comes into focus, certain scenes will be surplus to requirements. These scenes may be funny, sad, brilliantly written, or deeply personal, but they are pointless. It’s hard, but honestly, they need to go.
Example
I’ve got over twelve thousand words cut out of the first draft and squirrelled away in a leftovers folder. Entire scenes where characters meditate, and interior motivations and backstory are detailed are gone. I put them in for characters development, but the more minor characters don’t need it. I’m writing a romcom, not a masterpiece of Russian literature.
Upsettingly, I’m also writing additional scenes during the second draft edit, that I immediately realise are pointless and need to be binned. I need to stop doing that.
Task 7: Foreshadowing
I’ve done a lot of cutting, so it’s time to add a few things back. If events occur that change the direction of the narrative, then it’s a good idea to foreshadow them. Without that, then significant events occur from nowhere. In real life, significant events do arrive from nowhere, but in fiction I think it looks odd. Sure, a meteor can strike the earth, but before it does, someone should notice an odd blip on a radar screen, and be a bit worried.
Example
All the characters spend the day together on a retreat, but no-one mentions they are going to do that, until they are loading the van with incense, meditation cushions and yoga blocks. Someone would have known this was the plan, so they should have mention it.
Task 8: Reorder Scenes and Chapters
Sometimes scenes are in the wrong order. Sometimes entire chapters are. If the timeline is tortured or your protagonist’s motivations are unclear, then a simple reorder might help enormously.
Example
In one chapter the main character, Perry, hides in the toilet rather than go to class. She does that once the meditation class has started, and we’ve already had a scene. It’s the wrong order, she needs to hide in the first scene, and when she does, the scene becomes much simpler and the prose flows.
Task 9: Check Story Beats
I’ve found Save the Cat a useful book. I don’t follow it’s beats slavishly, and there are other patterns for narrative structure out there, but there are a few story milestone that I like to check, to ensure they are happening, and happening at the correct place. The main beats I check are:
- Catalyst at 10-20% through the novel
- Midpoint turnaround at 45-55% through the novel but more flex with this one
- Finale at 75-80%
Check whichever story beats are important to you. I would argue that the catalyst, midpoint and finale are beats that most stories will have. Of course you may be writing something deeply experiment and brilliant – that being the case, I’ll leave you alone with your art.
Example
Perry and Rob (romantic leads) get together at the midpoint, then lurch from disaster to disaster, and have limited time to enjoy their relationship before the finale. They deserve more time together, so I’ve change the midpoint and moved the beginning of their relationship forward. Now they can have a few more nice moments together, before their relationship falls apart again at the finale. It feels a bit kinder.
Task 10: De-Identify and Protect The Innocent
More of a personal one; If any of your characters are based on real people, then change names and character traits so they aren’t recognisable. No-one wants to fall out with friends, or get sued by someone a slightly less friendly.
Example
I loosely based four characters on people I’ve known, and called them after that person. It didn’t seem to matter when I was writing the first draft, but now it’s entering into additional edits, I feel bad – especially as I ran into two of them recently, and they are lovely. So at a minimum, I need to change the names of those characters, and potentially one of two character traits. If Softening ever looks like getting published, I’ll write to those two and let them know, and offer further edits. I’m out of touch with the third person, and he is less recognisable anyway. And the fourth is delicate, so I’m not sure what to do about that yet.
Full disclosure: all the characters are lovely, so I hope the originals wouldn’t be offended, even if they could recognise themselves. No character is a copy of a real person, it’s more that it was a jumping off point, and the character developed in their own way from there. This sounds like I’m practicing a court defence. I’m not. I hope.
Task 11: Remove Ten Percent
The big one – remove then percent of your first draft. This is straight from On Writing by Stephen King, and I think it’s brilliant advice. It’s also extremely difficult to do. If you can put on your big gender neutral panties on and do it, then your book will be a lot tighter and focused, and your readers will thank you. And you’ll have spare to use in another book, or put into the director’s cut when you sell the movie rights.
Example
As I write, the second draft is 7% shorter than the first. To get there I had to remove one character, move two others into the background, remove two chapters entirely and multiple scenes. I have naughtily added two more characters and a new chapter, so I guess that’s why it’s only 7%. It’s very hard to get 10% off, but I believe in it, so I’m going to keep trying.
Things Not To Do
There’s a lot to do in the second draft edit, so unless you are a two draft writer (which I’ve never heard of), here are a few things to leave out.
- Checking point of view for consistency (no head jumping).
- Checking spelling and grammar.
- Making your prose beautiful.
I will do all those things, but not now. There is no point spending days, making some prose perfect, when it could easily end up on the cutting room floor.
Things To Be Cautious About
To round off – here are a few things that I am doing in the second draft edit, that I’m unsure about.
- Adding characters
- Adding scenes
- Adding chapters
In general, adding work, goes against the effort to remove ten percent of the book, which I’m a big believer in. It’s a truth universally acknowledged, that if you are adding entire chapters to your second draft, you are going to struggle to get down to 90% of your initial effort. It’s possible, but your cuts will have to be deeper and more painful.
Final Word
And that is it. Good luck with your second draft, drafting fans. I haven’t ever written a completed manuscript, let alone published anything, so these are just my opinions; something I’ve got plenty of, for better or worse. Happy editing.
Photo by Maxime Agnelli on Unsplash
